There's no penthouse offer without using your voice.
FEATURED VOICE NOTE: “Moments of Truth: How to lean in to difficult conversations and trust that you can handle the fall out.”
Some of the experiences I have heard with clients as of late?:
“Navigating my prenup isolating. I feel like women don’t understand it, or see it as a bad thing.”
“Is it ok that I don’t want my partner on my social media? He wants to be, but I’m hesitant”
It’s important to know that the first negotiation you’re going to have, is the one you have with yourself.
Where you sit in all of it? What are you requirements?
Some decisions are not negotiations nor conversations.
I had an experience, where a woman was so terribly low-balled in her prenup, she didn’t even know how to process it. She was deeply hurt by her soon-to-be-husband giving her a shitty deal, and transparently, I would have felt the same way. (I would also feel sacred rage.❤️🔥)
She didn’t have anyone to tell but me.
How hard would it be, to go back to your inner circle, and try to explain that?
She and I both knew that it was f*cked up.
It’s like I heard Sabrina Carpenter singing, “Please, please, please,” as I receive the incoming texts.
By the time I found out about the offer, the deal was done and it was much lower than it should have been. I wished I had been brought in for the counteroffers because I knew what conversations needed to be had, how to hold up accountability with her partner, and how to ensure she got what was right for her.
I had worked with her on what her wants were, and the offer she was given was nothing close to what had been discussed.
The money conversation quickly turned into deep embarrassment and feeling unloved, undervalued, ignored and disrespected.
I can only imagine that there will be a trail of resentment and pain as a result of the outcome.
So what was she navigating in the onset?
1- She felt uncomfortable for being paid to be his wife (wife allowance sitch)
2-She didn’t want to make a list of demands. (He was the high net worth one in the relationship and she was a high performing executive. )
There’s tension here.
She doesn’t want to ask for “too much,” and she’s scared of what the reaction and offer back will be when she does take up space.
IS THIS NOT THE TENSION WE FEEL EVERY FREAKING DAY?!
In case you were wondering…
Offers are transparent. (For better or for worse.)
They reveal more truth than most will admit.
When a shitty prenup is given I’ll hear, “I think he knows he made a mistake.”
And to that my response will be, “It’s not a mistake. ”
Someone had to have a conversation with a lawyer, draft papers, and send them to back for review and approval before they are sent to the recipient.
This is where there is a moment of truth to be discussed:
How the offer made you feel
What the intent behind it was
Why it was given to you
And most importantly: What you want to do about it. If you are offended by something, and then take it anyways, your actions speak louder than words.
Negotiation opens the door to your consent. What are you consenting to, and do you want to consent to it?
Your voice is the only thing that is going to move you closer to what you want when there is a discrepancy between you and someone else.
So what do you do when you’re afraid to speak up?
So glad you asked.
I recorded a voice note to help you live your boldest life, and have tough conversations (even if you hate confrontation). It’s called, “Moments of Truth: How to lean in to difficult conversations, trust that you can handle the fallout and choose courage over conformity.”
xoxo,
Joanna