10 Pieces of Pizza

The dating practice that changed how I show up in life, career and relationships and why you should try it too.

What is 10 Pieces of Pizza?

-Exposure to a similar experience repeatedly

-Emotional Skills: Detachment, Exposure, Observation and Deceleration

-Emotional Growth: Working on people pleasing, oversharing and self trust

-Outcome: Seeing where you are open to expansion verses staying in the “better than nothing club.”

My only job, for months, was to go out on dates, and chalk it up to “It’s just a piece of pizza. That’s all we are doing.”

The vibe?

-Non committal, with the goal of learning to detach.

For me, recovering from domestic violence, it’s exactly what I needed to grow and make the changes necessary to have a really healthy relationship down the road.

This mindset gave me permission to try, without commitment, and the ability to create safety around a new experience with the goal of building self trust and building a new standard for what I wanted to gain out of relationship.

It was kicking to the curb the idea of “owing someone something,” and as a recovering people pleaser, that was ground breaking in and of itself.

So it all started with getting a slice. 🍕

It was inside of the 10 pieces of pizza practice that I started to cultivate my own definition of commitment, healthy relationship, and a dating path that made sense for me at the time.

As someone who could give anyone the benefit of the doubt, which is a blessing and a curse, I needed to learn to slow myself down, and truly listen to people. As I went on dates, I started paying attention to my own feelings, and how I was experiencing someone else and then letting go. “It’s been fun, we aren’t going out again.”

Detach.

Practiced detachment can be an entire post in and of itself, but the main method to 10 pieces of pizza:

Can I expose myself to a lot of people, observe both myself and the other party, have enjoyable experiences and practice letting go of an outcome?

It seems simple, and it really is simple. What makes it difficult is your attachment to said outcome, and your belief around options.

Simply put, when we have options, and we KNOW we have options, we are less likely to put up with bullshit. If you’re someone who has tolerated a lot of bullshit in the past whether by your family, co-workers, bosses or romantic partners, exposure, might be what you need.

Exposure creates a sense of expansion. If you have 9-10 engaged experiences happening at any given time, and someone shows up and offers you more, you now see the other 9 completely differently right? Because you’re going to look at it and be like, “I get more over here,” and exit left the first chance you get.

For many people, including myself, we get comfortable in the BTN club. The “better than nothing” club. You’ll take what’s in front of you because starting over is harder. Going through 6 more job interviews is tiring. Letting go, and starting over with another person feels daunting or draining even. Starting a new job where people value you? It can be challenging, but you didn’t realize how underpaid you were, until you went out and interviewed more companies.

Exposure to more shines a light on where mediocrity might be creeping into your life. The second you have the ability to see you can get more, you are forced to face where you’re standing right now.

If you have tendencies to get comfy, maybe 10 pieces of pizza is just what you need.

How to use 10 Pieces of Pizza in your life, relationships and career.

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